YA: Die Erste Woche

It´s been eventful, and I´ll tell you that for free.

As can be observed in the previous post, me and Natalie arrived in Cologne late Sunday night. It wasn´t the smoothest of trips. Our cases were massive, we were knackered and the taxi driver firstly tried to bugger off without me, and then afterwards chose to dump us infront of a very closed looking bulding, under the impression that it was the hostel we were seraching for, before recklessly driving away. Fortunetly the hostel was only a few doors down, but it´s the principle of the thing. Then followed a four flight struggled with aforementioned massive cases during which Natalie´s suitcase decided enough was enough and shed a wheel. It was, all in all, not a restful experience.

The next day meant a hundred yard stagger weighed down with our life´s possessions to Cologne Hauptbahnhof (Nat suffering more due to having to drag her case on only one wheel and endure mine, and later Lyndsay´s, laughter). We frustratingly bummed around the station in one of Germany´s most beautiful cities for a couple of hours (I imagine people would have got pissy had we decided to attempt to cart all our shizz round the Dom, or whatever) before meeting up with several million other prospective languages assistants and being bussed off to the middle of nowhere.

Because Haus Altenberg, the Fremdsprachassistent training compoud if you will, is miles away for ANYTHING. I think normally it´s probably used for Catholic summer camps or something because there´s a beautiful Cathedral next door, the existance of which they like to alert you to several times a day by ringing the bells really, really loudly and for a ridiculously long time. At 5.45 in the morning, too. You can imagine how we all enjoyed them. In fact, this monastry-like set up with the teeny tiny surroudnings was perhaps one of the most German places I´ve ever been, though I couldn´t quite shake off the feeling that it might be the set of a horror film.

Then there was the food. Oh God, the food. The first meal we were given was, and I kid you not, scrambled eggs with boiled potatoes and spinach. Well, attention Germans, because I have news: this is not a meal. Scrambled eggs should never be parted from it´s beloved brother, toast. Boiled potatoes shouldn´t be enjoyed outside of a roast dinner. Spinnach, well, spinnach just shouldn´t. Then there´s your concpet of portion size. Two spoons of rice and a scoop of chicken in watery sauce does not a curry make. And whilst we´re on the subject of curry, don´t make it out of what was apparently mashed Refresher sweets. To give Haus Altenberg credit, by the third day they had picked up their game by providing schnitzel and ice cream (not together). However, before that the cuisine receives a level of mediocre to poor.

With the lack of sleep enforced by a rigourous timetable and the ringing of those bloody awful bells combined with the mostly rubbish food and the far flung location, it was difficult to avoid conforming to Lyndsay´s theory that the whole thing was a social experiment designed to break us, with hidden cameras everywhere and millions of Germans sat at home watching and pissing themselves laughing. However, moaning aside, the course itself was actually very good. It was helpful and informative and gave us all the oportunity to mingle and meet other language assistants in our area. It was also really good fun, especially when the cost-price beers were flowing from the makeshift bar of an evening. If I could have ensured that it was schnitzel day every day, then I perhaps wouldn´t have wanted to leave.

But, I did, and so I have arrived in Duisburg, my German home-town for the next few months. I was met at the station by my teacher-mentor, who helped me with my stuff and came to the Studenwerk with me to sort the contract for my Studentenwohnheim room and generally saved my life. Then I went to my flat, which I´m sharing with two guys and a girl. The guys seem lovely; one is from Ghana and prefers to speak English -score! - and the other gave me a lamp, because I have no general utensils yet, including curtains or anything to provide me with electric light. I haven´t met the girl yet, but I´m sure she´ll be nice. I must admit, when I was left alone in my incredibly bare room I did cry a little bit. Just a litte, because I felt suddenly very small and far from home. But then I manned up, went to Anmelden, sorted my Bankkonto and got complimented on my German (with a Dutch twang, apparently) by an actual real life German.

Which brings me to now, sat in this internet cafe (I don´t have Internetanchluss in my room yet either) across from my new flat, feeling tired, scared, lost, excited, confused, tired again, hungry and just a little bit happy. The last week has been a whirl, today even more so. I´m sure tomorrow will be equally crazy. I´ll keep you posted.