YA: The Good, The Bad and the Odd-Bods.

I realise I haven't been posting on this as much as I would like, so here's a quickie until I find some Stunden to sit down and right up the ghouly and ghosty escapes of a Halloween alla Deutschland. It's a list of the best, the worst and, most importantly, the weirdest encounters I've had in Germany so far.* If you've had weirder (and it's possible, this is a strange country) please write your entries on a postcard and send them to me. There may be a prize.

THE GOOD

- The lovely man from Sparkasse who told me on my second day here that he wouldn't have been able to tell I wasn't a native. For this wonderful confidence-boosting lie, he receives my eternal love and undisputed position as Georgie's Favourite German.

- The boy in my Klasse 7 social sciences bilingual class who called the European Union "the Eurovision Onion".

- The girl in my Thursday FCE class told me she liked my boots. Fashion compliments always earn you a position in my good books.

- The other girl in my Thursday FCE class who gave me half a bag of gummy bears because I said they were my favourite.

- The group of Klasse 12 lads who, in a role play based around the film Juno, collectively got the word "fuck" into the script five or six times, whilst the one playing Juno  managed the sentence "Dad, Brenda... I'm pregnant" with a straight face.

- The boy in my Klasse 6 group who today did a full impression of Michael Jackson complete with dance routine in the middle of his art class. Only eleven years old and already a legend.

THE BAD (fortunately, far outweighed by the good.)

- The jobs-worth conductor on that tram who charged me 40Euro for not following a rule I didn't know existed. I was practically in tears and he still took my money. He clearly has a heart of stone.

- The boys in my Wednesday FCE class who pretty much directly laughed at me uncontrollably for reasons I don't know because they were speaking German. And no I'm not paranoid, they were definitely laughing at me.

THE ODD-BODS

- Not a person as such, but the dog in the staffroom. I turned round and there was a dog. An actual drooling, woofing, widdling dog. I mean, whaaa?

- The Amnesty International man who launched himself from the other side of the road at high speed in order to corner me. I don't understand, there were plenty of other unsuspecting shoppers for him to accost - why run all that way to preach at me? Maybe I was wearing a special hat...

- The other two Amnesty International men who danced around and around me until they had my attention. They have it in for me.

- The creepy dude from my halls of indeterminable nationality (Turkish?) who I accidentally ended up having coffee with because my German wasn't quick enough to think of an excuse not to. My biggest fear is one day bumping into him on the stairs, especially as I accidentally on purpose threw away his number with my old train tickets.

- The man in the post office who asked me repeatedly about the different types of envelopes available and which I thought he would need for his parcel whilst I wondered if I'd accidentally put a Deutsche Post uniform on when I got dressed that morning.

- The very presumptuous English man who asked me for directions to the Hauptbahnhof in English.  Either I look incredibly English, or he just arrogantly assumed that whoever he asked would both be able to understand him and also reply in the language he understood. Lucky for him, really, that he picked the only English person in the street besides himself.

- The man flyering for Deutsche Bahn who, after giving me the flyer, asked to have a picture with me. I believe it was to prove to his superior that he´d actually given me the flyer and not just thrown it down a drain somewhere, but it was still a baffling experience. I felt like a celebrety who´s been spotted by a fan with a camera whilst on a late night dash to Tesco for milk.

- And last but by no means least, the old man I occasionally see at Oberhausen train station who always wears combat trousers and a beret. Such a fashion faux pas, but what a don. Kudos to you, beret-touting old gent.

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*This list may be revised at a later date - keep your eyes peeled for Mark II.